I was in the USA and I worked at a University like Ashland University in Ohio, in a sector which joined health and security services. I couldn’t understand very well how it all happened, but there had been a very serious accident with my German boyfriend Lennart. A kind of natural disaster had happened at the same time as a car crash, and my boyfriend was involved right in the middle of it all. I ran like crazy through the rooms and hallways of the university – which seemed more like a public office than a university – trying to find people who could give me news. This accident was a very serious problem, because Lennart didn’t have health insurance and was in the United States illegally. Determined to find a solution, I went to the accident’s location and called the police. The officer that responded my call was a friend from Ashland, and I begged him to put Lennart in an Ambulance and take him to the hospital. I waited with my heart beating in my throat: there was nothing I could do except trust my police officer friend and hope for the best.
Lennart came back from the hospital, but he was different. Cold and embittered, he seemed to have taken the accident as a personal insult from the U.S against him, and he began to direct his anger and frustration towards me. He had severely hurt his leg during the accident, and despite all my efforts, the doctors didn’t do all they could to heal it – there was an internal fracture that demanded an expensive and complicated surgery, but the hospital had only put some plaster on it and left it as it was, sending Lennart home. He could walk with crutches, but he was in a lot of pain, not to mention the future perspective of living with a crippled leg for the rest of his life.
I swore I would stand by him and take care of him the best way I could. I put myself to work and research ways to help him, but the coldness with which he treated me started to really annoy me. I knew he was traumatized with what had happened and was only using me as a punching bag for his frustration, but it was impossible not to take this attitude with melancholy and disappointment. I thought I wouldn’t be able to take that situation for much longer, so I decided to worry more about myself. I started going out with other people and, when Lennart saw that I wasn’t going to be always at his disposal, wallowing in unnecessary guilt, he changed his attitude.
The question was that, now, I wasn’t interest in him anymore either. I met men who were more interesting and I saw that it would be a huge waste if I spent my life taking care of an ungrateful invalid. Lennart would have to make some effort in order to get me back, besides taking responsibility, as the mentally capable adult that he was, for his future. Extremely intelligent, he would, without a doubt, be able to work in his area, despite his broken leg. More than that, he found out that the leg could still be fixed, for it wasn’t a hopeless case but something that needed special care and therapy, and that the surgery could be done later on without any immediate bad consequences. I decided, then, to live my life for myself – what the future reserved for me was another matter.